"The idea that ‘both parties are always to blame’ is profoundly harmful, unjust, unbiblical, and is simply untrue. The sooner we jettison this ghastly idea from the church, the sooner we can engage these matters in a genuinely Christian way." In this excellent post, Matthew Payne shows that "'Both parties are always to blame’ makes nonsense of the Bible’s teaching and can lead to great injustice. It insists that people who are innocent admit to guilt that they don’t actually bear. It makes incidents of abuse out as though they were just mutual disagreements, and therefore nobody needs to be called to repentance or disciplined."
